Cover image for Fruit of the Spirit: The Testimony of a Gay Christian written by Zack Ridenoure

I don’t know about you, but growing up gay wasn’t easy. I didn’t always know I was gay and didn’t have much help to figure my way through it all. I did know I was different, though. It’s cliché to say I never felt like I fit in, but I find myself at 38 still not fitting in very much.

I have walked the path of a child of God just as long as I have been a gay man. At one time, I thought the two identities were divergent paths until I got a revelation that my homosexuality is a part of my God-given identity. Finding self-acceptance and understanding the affirmation of God’s truth brought them together.

I faced rejection from other Christians and members of the LGBTQ+ community for being myself. Finding who I am and the compassion to live from a place of love took years of mistakes and learning the lessons they provided.

Fruit of the Spirit is my testimony as I confront stereotypes, navigate sex and romantic relationships, pursue my faith in Jesus, and find guidance to be who God created me to be. Witness to my journey and find guidance for yourself.

ABOUT THE BOOK

AVAILABLE HERE

EXCERPTS

FROM FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT

  • “The early years of being a teenager are undeniably difficult for a lot of people, not just gay men. Before I hit the awkward stages of puberty, I’d taken pride in my appearance and tried to express myself in my clothing choices. Once I hit junior high, I don’t think anything, not even a cool outfit could have helped. I had a middle part in my hair. I had a unibrow and the sad beginnings of a mustache; both of which my mother would not let me remove. And I had firmly denied being gay for a few years even though I was conflicted about being attracted to the same sex. All this before I even got braces!”

  • That night as we were getting ready at his apartment, he gave me a birthday gift. It was a black striped shirt with French cuffs and across the shoulders was embroidered the head of a tiger surrounded by flowers. The shirt was more his style than mine, but it was a gift and if I had learned a lesson from my fourth birthday it was to be polite when accepting anything. I said thank you and he asked if I liked it. I told him I did, and he replied, “You better it was a hundred dollars.” I thought the comment was as tacky as the shirt.

  • “I walked over to the shoe department to find the Christian woman who worked there. I told her I needed some advice and I explained to her everything that had happened. She listened with intent and after a few minutes told me that she really needed to pray about it and for me to come back later. She said she wanted whatever advice she gave to come from the Holy Spirit and not herself. It was only through Him that she knew the advice would be sound and specific for me.”

  • “One night after work and hanging out with some friends in the city, I got on the L train to head home to Brooklyn. I sat down at the end of the subway bench right next to the door and a guy got on at the last stop in Manhattan. He was tall, olive skin, dark hair with a long full beard. I thought he was so cute, and he thought the same about me. We locked eyes and he walked over to me and introduced himself.“

  • “For a long time, I said I wore my heart on my sleeve or that I led with my heart. Even after getting my heartbroken time and time again, I would put it out there first thinking that’s how love happens. You have to be open and out there to receive it. That’s how I thought it was supposed to work. In Proverbs 4:23 the Bible states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.” It wasn’t until I understood this scripture and the many layers it actually addresses that I could address the broken pieces of my own.”